being called a liar is one this but being called a liar over and over and over and being told that i dont care and havent cared because of a post or bbecause of a text message i didnt send because of completely normal reasons when its been the complete opposite all fucking day is not okay with me i cant just take that i cant just be told that i’m a liar and i dont care by someone who knows damn well thats the complete opposite of who i am especially towards them i cant take this right now especially while i’m off my meds
• I made this post the other day but I miss skyping with people especially people I’m close with a skyped a couple times last week and they were rad
• I’ve been wanting to hang out with my friends here more than ever lately
• I’ve eaten one small thing in the last three days and I’ve barely slept for the same amount of nights and i dont know if ill sleep tonight even though I’ve taken 4 tablets that are suppose to have drowsy side effects all because of sick
• I want attention for the first time in a long time
• I miss playing games and doing things with the people I did them with
i’ve been on the brink of crying for over 30 minutes nearly 40 minutes i hate this i hate this stupid depression and i hate these fucking mood destroying med side effects i just want to go to sleep and not wake up haha
i called my dad because i just wanted to talk to him about things and i ended up talking to him about how i’ve been feeling really down and lethargic lately and my headaches and how fucked up my sleeping’s been and he thought it was all related to how i’ve been sleeping lately but then i ended up talking about i havent been talking to anyone the last few days because of it all and how i feel about everything else and i was finding it harder to talk to him jsut beause it was getting hard to actually talk like physically talk and he think i might have depression. he’s always right about these things to the point where i havent taken medicine in years apart from painkillers for really bad headaches because what he tells me to do works.
great. i guess i’ll find out if he’s right on friday.
i’m pretty sure i’ve messed things up with nicolle because regardless of the state im in all i care about is myself and i’m scared that elise might not want to talk to me anymore or for a long while depending on how my doctor’s visit goes and i haha really don’t want either of those to be true but i can’t see them being false
i don’t think i can handle more or less losing two really close friends right now.
it hurt to be told i always want to talk all the time everyday in a really annoyed way by the person i’m used to talking to the most even though we havent talked properly in days and not at all in the last two
I don’t see much point in things right now & I’m gonna not mention the thing that’s got me in a haze lately whenever I bring it up to people they never reply and lmao I get the picture. Good morning to me.
lately none of my wants have felt reachable, for the last few weeks it’s felt like my wants are pieces of paper that I’m trying to catch on a really windy day and whenever I get close to them the wind just picks up and makes them fly away and sometimes it feels like I don’t know what I want anymore and I’m sick of it I just want to be able to grasp a couple things at least so I know what I want and have what I want so I have the drive to keep chasing the rest.
i just ate my first vegan dinner like home cooked meal instead of like a salad or sandwich and it was bloody beautiful
oh yeah by the way i’ve had a vegan diet since the 1st and now that i’ve got my lifestyle products i’ll be completely vegan as of well, earlier today
i havent said anything on my blog and probably won’t until i’m completely comfortable with saying it also because i really can’t be bothered with the possible wah wah you’re only doing it because elise is vegan reaction which is sigh really really not true